Ladies (not hello, ladies, see Weston for that), a poll: for those of you who took your husband’s last name upon marriage, how many continued to think of yourself as Firstname Maidenname fifteen years down the line? I changed my last name six years ago and I’m used to it. I just can’t pin down the convention for this in the Seven Kingdoms. On one hand, Catelyn seems to be treated as a member of House Stark, on the other, she thinks of herself as Catelyn Tully. Lysa is referred to as “Lysa Arryn,” but Cersei is called “Cersei Lannister.” Does Littlefinger spend his days doodling “Catelyn Baelish” and “Mr. and Mrs. Petyr Baelish” on the treasury accounts? This is important! Meanwhile, in the back of my mind, I know that I’m thinking about this way more than GRRM ever did, and I feel like he’s trolling me and doesn’t even know it. GRRM can troll you by just being, he’s that good.
Episode 5…in which the twins are devious menaces and should never be let out in public, ever. Especially when they’re bored.
Since this chapter is about the twins and they are a brand of Crazy that cannot be contained by reverse-harem Manga formula, we skip the usual opening Bishie Freeze frame and jump right into Kermit-Flailing Tamaki fussing at the twins. I would say that I’m surprised, except that I’d be lying. I’d by lying a lot. Continue reading
Sansa’s in a weird in-between state where she understands that she’s a hostage and that things are bad for her and her family, but still clings to the delusion that Cersei and Joff give a damn about her. I myself am also in an in-between state where I don’t dislike her as a character anymore, but don’t look forward to her chapters because they’re basically misery with very little forward movement in the plot.
I’ve missed Tyrion. That’s nothing new, I always miss Tyrion. Not even specifically in this book, just generally, in life. Somehow, his chapters are always so much less horrifying than everybody else’s. Either fewer bad things happen to him or I just have selective memory when it comes to my favourite.
This chapter’s drinking game: drink any time someone mentions goats or penes; two drinks for the threat of feeding someone’s penis to a goat; finish your drink if a goat actually eats something; find all the alcohol in your home, mix it together, and chug it if a goat actually eats a penis.
Catelyn and her uncle have taken the sea route to Robb, travelling to the White Harbor — the North’s primary port — and then on to where Robb’s gathering his forces with the sons of White Harbor’s lord, Manderly, as escorts. It’s nice that at least one of the Stark kids gets to be reunited with a parent, but think about it: out the six kids, only one gets to see a parent again, and it’s the oldest to boot. The babies will have to fend for themselves!
It’s Dany’s first chapter AV — After Viserys. Life is somehow a little brighter AV, like that scene post-sex from 500 Days of Summer. Sex happens a lot in A Game of Thrones, so that’s nothing special, but even here it’s not every chapter a slimy bastard bites it.
Bran is watching men arrive in Winterfell for the army Robb’s gathering. The latest (and last) arrivals are the Karstarks — a thousand-year-old offshoot of House Stark, they are descendents of Karlon Stark. Bran doesn’t think the look like Starks, but he looks like a Tully, so I don’t think he should talk. In a society where genetics and heredity are so closely tied to appearance, Catelyn sure didn’t do a good job of giving birth to Stark-looking children, did she, only one out of five. I suspect if Robb looked like Ned instead of her, she wouldn’t hate Jon quite so much. (I was looking through my previous entries to check if I already shared this theory when I realized that I use the word “hate” a lot when writing these.)