Episode Two…in which a guest Looks for Love in all the Wrong Places, and the Host club does the Time Warp, Agai~n!
Magic, or fairy dust, is in the air as we’ve Time hurdle-jumped from probably-Spring and right into the dead of Winter, all in the space of one chapter. Obviously this is going to be A Thing, as nobody (aside from ME) seems to be suffering because the Manga-ka decided to futz with the T.A.R.D.I.S. After a flowery bit of prose regarding Christmas, we find the Harem Host club in a Freeze Frame inspired by vaguely Polynesian and Balinese culture, complete with elaborate costuming, decorative plants and imported flora.
Brain has temporarily ceased to function. Please stand-by for an Emergency re-boot.
While the readers are still recovering from the awkward Time Jump (Damn those faulty Vortex Manipulators), Tamaki is charming his way into the panties hearts of his guests with shameless self-flattery. The twins “Twincest” and “ready for our close up Mr. deMille” Freeze Frame for their kinky-ass-clients just long enough for our brains to re-solidify. Obvious foreshadowing is obvious, when the twins stop their eye-fucking long enough to casually mention an upcoming ball. Meanwhile, Kyoya, now and forever known as the Dark Lord the Shadow King, admits that this brain fuckery (is it Christmas, is it summer, no it’s Christmas…) was his idea, as it was he who casually gave the Hosts the book on Tropical destinations. Damn you, sir, and your little Black Book, too.
Haruhi eye-rolls the situation, and brushes off the fan girls’ demands of costumed fan service with her charm and dewy Manga Eyes. The sound the follows is the sound of a thousand fan girls’ panties simultaneously falling off. The Christmas plot point on hold, we’re introduced to a member of this chapter’s supporting cast, who’s obviously important because she’s mentioned by name. Thus, Kanako Kasugazaki, the client with a chronic case of “Man Eater Syndrome,” comes forth to claim her next victim favorite Host. This high-class lady has “had” (but not like that) all the veteran Hosts at least once before, and now she’s hunting designating Haruhi.
Now that Haruhi has taken over our Diva’s place as Kanako’s favorite, Tamaki retreats to his Emo Freeze Frame with his “commoner’s ramen.” Our Sparkling Diva Unicorn Host King Tamaki isn’t happy that Haruhi is so popular with the ladies, even though she has no penis is not him is a female, herself. Tamaki throws a hissy fit and demands that Haruhi start dressing as a girl. He So Goes There and proves he’s just as creepy as Edward Cullen by pulling out a picture of Haruhi he secretly had enlarged, complete with CG roses and gilded frame, to show her what turns him on he wants her to dress like. Haruhi’s “WTF?!” is a WTF that’s heard around the world.
Our Diva gets his revenge, when he gives her the “it’s this, or dogsbody for you, BIATCH” ultimatum. He’s not to a complete dick, though, and he sweetens the deal by offering to cut her bail debt in half, if she dances at the ball. This is a very transparent attempt to get her to practice with him, but he fails-hard-and thus Tamaki Emo Freeze Frames for a few panels. It turns out the Diva not getting his way is a blessing in disguise, as Haruhi shows that her two left feet have two left feet when cougar-in-training Kanako, is roped in to a practice full of REALLY BAD DANCING, You Guys.
A brief Interlude in the Adventures of Haruhi, Dancing Queen, reveals that Kanako has a bit of a teacup fetish…fixation…whatever it is, she really, really likes them. The Tactless Wonder calls her on it, and Kanako Kermit-flails and denies it so hard that she ends up burning herself and needing Haruhi to take her to the nurse. Our resident Ladies’ (not-a-) Man mistakes a student for a nurse’s aide, and more Kermit-flailing ensues when Mr. Random Guy sees Kanako is hurt. Haruhi has a momentary Does Not Compute, which is made worse when Ms. MAN EATER starts petting her a little too much to be comfortable. Mr. Random Guy finally leaves, and Haruhi doesn’t buy it when Kanako pulls another hard-core DENY about knowing Mr. Kermit of the Flailing Limbs. In her rush to escape the Awkward Questions, Kanako is wall-smashed by Mori, who breaks the damn school in his rush to get a band-aide for Hani’s boo-boo.
Nurse Haruhi to the rescue, and the Apocalypse is averted, all with the aide of bunny band-aides. Hani, in thanks, glomps Haruhi and reveals that he KNOWS SHIT, when he reveals that Worried Guy, a.k.a. Toru Suzushima (another non-Host with a name! What is this magic?!) is Kanako’s fiancé. The Hosts’ true power, the power of Epic Nosiness, is revealed with the sudden info-dump about “boring,” “mousy” Toru and their “OMG, no wonder his fiancé is such a whore ‘Host Hopper’” dismissal leave Haruhi crying “bitches.” Just when it seems the Overlord of Supreme Knowledge- Kyoya- has failed us, it turns out he too knew ALL THE THINGS and just decided that it so wasn’t important enough to deny himself the Hosts Kanako’s money company.
At long fucking last, it’s time for the Christmas ball. This ball FAILS in terms of being good for dancing, as the Hosts are the only ones there with penises, as far as we are made aware. All is well though, as the twins have set up a casino for some seasonal gambling, with the grand prize being a kiss from the Queen King himself, Tamaki. Haruhi is prepared to grumble-mumble all over the entire affair, but is bribed to shut up and take it like a man Host with the promise of food. Determined to get that damned food or die, Haruhi turns the charm up to 9,000. Haruhi’s Glutton Power and her newly acquired knowledge of Toru being the Heir of All Things Tableware-explaining Kanako’s teacup eye sexing-charms the truth out of the MAN EATER. Kanako reveals her flirting was an attempt to get the attention of her fiance, who signed up for an exchange program to England without telling her. The Sad is felt by all, complete with tiny violins.
What should be a cute heart-to-heart is interrupted by Hani and Mori, who rush her off for an emergency session of cross cross-dressing. Haruhi, the star of this whacked out Victor-Victoria set-up, is shoved into a dark room with Toru, who thinks she’s a cute girl with a crush on him. Secret Agent Haruhi is a champ and turns this potential Awkward and Not Helpful, At All scenario into a “what is up with you and Kanako” moment. Toru blurts his feelings of Not Worthy regarding Kanako, and admits to bailing to become a more interesting person. Guru Haruhi curb stomps Toru’s logic, leading to an AHA! moment that is interrupted by his fiancé. A chase ensues with “it’s not what it looked like” heavily implied, in which Haruhi pulls a “Bella Swan” and busts her ankle running in kitten heels.
Just As Planned apparently, as the couple of the Epic Misunderstanding is suddenly surrounded by Sparkling, and a Christmas Tree of Gigantitude, and the mood lightening of many smooches. Implied reconciliation is implied, and there is glitter. Apparently done with this plot line, the Manga-ka abruptly drops this storyline in favor of the dancing. Dancing, which Haruhi has to sit out, because her foot is partly mummified thanks to the Kitten Heels of Doom. Things wrap up when Kyoya pulls a bait-and-switch on the fan girls guests when he bribes Haruhi into giving the kiss to the winner. Tamaki’s Do Not Want causes a domino effect, that ends up with Haruhi landing a wet one on the lips of the girl in question. Thus, the Squees and the Squeals of the fan girls are heard by all, and Haruhi SHUNS Tamaki for being such a needy attention whore.
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I readily admit that I got carried away with the glittering crack and the silliness of this chapter, and I’m completely unashamed to admit this. Admittedly, that is something that is far, far too easy to do where this chapter (and this Manga in question) is concerned. If the first chapter was Cotton Candy Mountain, then this one is Sweet Tart Valley. The “sugar” is there, but tempered quite nicely by the underlying bitterness of our supporting cast’s story line.
What Worked
Though they’re by no means main characters, Kanako and Toru are very much the heart of this chapter. The Hosts and dear, long-suffering Haruhi definitely provided a few giggles, but their story line- the cosplay, the witness to teacup ogling, the gossip, the investigation, and later the Christmas Ball- are all very dependent on Kanako and Toru being a part of this chapter. Take away Kanako’s heart-breaking cries for attention, the misunderstanding of feelings by both Toru and Kanako, the bitter-sweet reconciliation that comes even as Toru is preparing to leave for England, and you take away the substance of this story line. Not quite as true to the Pretty Boy Tunnel Vision as genuine reverse harem story lines, but infinitely more interesting to read about.
If he isn’t now, then someday soon, Kyoya Ohtori will be Ruling the world On High, with the power of his Handy Dandy Notebook. This is a man unafraid of blatant manipulation. Don’t want to take part in a Santa Claus cosplay? Slip a Tropical Destinations book on the table and have the others “vote on it.” Need to get your indifferent heroine on board with your scheming? Bribe her into action by offering up a reduction in her bail debt. Need information on a perspective client or minion associate? Use your infinite Powers of Intel Gathering to get you what you need. Privacy laws are more polite suggestions than rules to be followed. This man has you by the balls (so to speak) and is not afraid to use that to his advantage. The fact that he can do it with a smile in a Bishie Freeze Frame is what makes him so terrifying and so awesome at the same time. He is charming, polite, opportunistic, and is secretly plotting all the ways to exploit you for gain. All Hail Hypnotoad Kyoya Ohtori, badass!
What little that I’ve seen of in-manga-cosplay and affective Bishie Freeze Framing, I’ve seen in this Manga. As a theatre geek, and someone who SO TOTALLY wants to have the opportunity to cosplay someday, this chapter (being the first to have the Hosts do so) is a dream come true. It’s a beautiful combination of exotic Freeze Frame backdrops, glitter, and the decadence of Polynesian-or-maybe-Balinese culture. As someone who has been to Bali and has seen the magnificence of the colors and the ceremonial dress, I can SO GET how the fan girls would be “fan-girling” all over their chosen Hosts. Half-naked and dewy-eyed, these glittering boys in their stylized poses are meant to simultaneously titillate and melt panties from 100 paces. The fact that these fan girls are constantly squirming and/or blushing should tell you that they’ve successfully done just that.
Let’s Break It Down
Before the start of the chapter, we get our first plot-important (second in the series) of mini-episodes that break down that pesky fourth wall like it’s made of plywood. We are greeted- literally -by the Hosts, all of whom are trying to get a drunk Tamaki to STFU and stop SPOILING the damn chapter like a muscle car. But wait…It Gets Better. Their solution: they literally “Bleep!” out the spoilers in his speech bubbles as he goes on, oblivious and flailing, in the background.
WHY. WHY is this not A Thing that happens in all Manga? I’m extremely picky about what I read, but I would pick up near anything, as long as there was one of these before each chapter. It takes this Manga from a parody that exists in its own bubble of altered reality, to an interactive play in progress. The characters KNOW that they are creations of an artist (they even refer to the “author”), and they actively acknowledge that they have knowledge of events BEFORE ANYTHING HAPPENS, and everyone is totally Cool With This. Whatever initially inspired the Manga-ka to have the characters interact with their readers, brava. It’s silly, and so short it isn’t even worth mentioning in the recap, but I definitely enjoyed reading it.
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…
Corner of Fangirling
September 25th, 2010. Hatori Bisco released the very last chapter of her brilliant Ouran High School Host Club. It was a bitter-sweet moment for me, as I had so enjoyed my time being immersed in the lives of these insane, infinitely endearing, and ultimately human characters. Many, many months after finally finishing the last chapter of the last volume of Ouran Host Club, I finally took the time to look the Manga up online. It was right as I was about to start this project, and I thought a quick peek at all the interesting fan articles/art/etc might be interesting to look at, to remind me of the insane mind-frame I existed in while the Manga was still ongoing. To my complete surprise, I noticed blurbs about Ouran chapters that I had NEVER READ BEFORE.
If ever had a Blue Screen moment, I certainly did that day. Like most people, I’d assumed that when Hatori Bisco said that volume 18 was to be The End, she meant that it was…you know…THE END. No more. Njet. DONE. Perhaps she just wanted to gift her loyal minions fans with a few, post-story one-shots, perhaps she missed her characters as much as the rest of us and wanted to let the world know what the Hosts were up to, now that they were all adults, or becoming adults. Or…perhaps my Webster Dictionary ‘Foo is not as strong as it should be, and I Missed Something contextually when I read the phrase “Last Chapter.” Whatever the case, I was pleased as a kitten with a giant ball of yarn to find not only two mini-episodes, but also two FULL LENGTH episodes that took place some time between the end, and the mysterious land of Some Years Later. All this to say…SO MUCH HAPPY, you don’t even know.
Does this mean that this Manga is picking up again, at some point? Are there going to be MORE chapters than the extras already published? If not a continuing story line, is this going to be a Special Thing, one-shots of varying lengths about the lives of our beloved characters? Whatever the case may be, I will gladly do the Victory Dance to the horrible English translation version of “Sakura Kiss.” If this was just a one time (well, FOUR time, really) thing, then OMG THANK YOU for the giving your loyal servants fans one last glimpse into this fun, funny, and insane world of crazy rent-boys Hosts.
As for this review project, I am planning for now to stick to reviewing the original 83 chapters of this Glitter Fest. If Hatori Bisco eventually does more with this than occasional post-story one-shots, that might change. Whatever the case, I’m looking forward to next chapter…
Until next time~!