Episode Three: …in which a Host’s BIGGEST FAN makes her appearance, and it is GLORIOUS.

Before I get started, I’d like to give a heads up and say: Proceed Cautiously. This episode’s pre-chapter mini manga consists of four of our six main characters trying to jump ship, a delusional fangirl, and Tamaki flailing in distress. Consider yourself duly warned. Thar be Otaku, ahead~!

Paris, France. Seriously. For once, we don’t open with Haruhi, or in Ouran, or even someplace in Tokyo. I’d like to say that we are in for some beautiful freeze frames with shots of iconic landmarks because of our new location, but I’d be lying. Instead, we open upon our new character, the token Otaku, Renge. Renge, who is FOR SERIOUS planning to marry her favorite dating Sim character, whose father is a fucking idiot for not explaining how life Does Not Work Like That. Mr. Otaku’s Dad, let’s call him, makes the massive mistake of showing her a picture of [insert Host here], and that’s when Shit Gets Interesting. Thinking that [insert Host here] MUST be “Mr. (dating Sim) Right,” Renge decides that she needs to fly to Japan RIGHT NOW to be with him. The sound that follows is the sound of a Restraining Order in the making.

Fade in to the Host club doing what it does best- Freeze Framing- in elaborate Kimono. Luckily, the T.A.R.D.I.S. is nowhere to be seen, so we can safely assume that the jarring Time Jumping thing is not going to be A Thing, this chapter. As usual, the fan girls are earning Tamaki’s ‘Eternal Love’ by feeding his ego, which he turns into sweet talk like a total PIMP. He works the tear ducts and the Bishie-Dazzle, and the fan girls (and their panties) drop like flies.

The twins, for once, aren’t Twincesting. In a rare moment of Plot, they reveal a bit of back-story- a designer mother, and a grandmother who does…something when she’s not helping her grandsons into their matching Kimono. This moment of Interesting and Not Incestuous Plot-Point dies a quick death when it’s interrupted for a Freeze Frame of the Twincest variety.

Haruhi, Queen of the Deadpan, quietly scoffs the scoff of one not into incest not impressed by the twins or their fan girls. Kyoya pops up like a money-hungry Jack-in-the-box just long enough to congratulate Haruhi on her success as a whore Host.  He quickly shows his true colors, however, by being vaguely threatening in a “I would sell your body for money, if I could” kind of way. Luckily for us all Haruhi, the twin powers of “kewpie,” a.k.a. Hani and Mori, save us all Haruhi from imminent Death-by-Debt. Hani gets his Loli-Shouta tears on, and Mori comes to his rescue with the missing zori (woven-grass slipper) in question for a moment of What’s-Up-With-Those-Two fan service. The duo’s fan girls swallow the fan service like the Detective L swallows his cake…in one sugary gulp.

Haruhi’s moment of WTF over the Hosts blubbering like premenstrual girls is interrupted when she stumble-bumps into Hikaru and the Grand Secret of the Tears: eye drops. The Glutton Heroine proves Gluttonous when she’s distracted from calling them on their bull-shit by a gift of expensive sweets. Haruhi, pro at the Panty Peeling Bishie Eyes, turns the moment into a Freeze Frame of “D’Aww” when she decides to make it an offering to her dead mother. Of course, Tamaki the Moment Stealer can’t stand not being the Eye Candy center of attention and so tries to Bishie-Dazzle his way into the spot-light with more treats for her mother. Haruhi knows his game and gives the Prancing Pony Tamaki’s ego a Stare Down worthy of a Spaghetti Western.

Off in Tamaki’s Emo Corner the shadows, our Lurking Otaku lurks awkwardly. Tamaki’s vanity draws him to the new guest like a magnet. However, his attempt at securing a new fan girl is curb-stomped when Renge verbally kicks him in the ego. Obviously more Narcissist than Man, Tamaki and his ego lay twitching and wounded after the Otaku’s Verbal Rampage, and all the Hosts “Oooh” and “Ahhh” in amazement. It’s only after Kyoya is tearfully glomped by Super-Otaku Renge do we find out just who she’s totally obsessed in love with and has decided to kidnap marry.

It is obvious that Renge of the Hoshakuji Crazies Family has decided on her own that she’s Kyoya’s fiance.  The other Hosts (naïve little things) actually BELIEVE her and do WTF all over it. Tamaki, barely recovered from his war wounds, Emo Corners over “Mommy” not telling him about it. Thus Kyoya has his own WTF over being the “Mommy” in this picture to the Hosts. It’s only when Renge gushes over a Kyoya that comes across as both sensitive and kind that the Hosts discover “Shit Ain’t Right.”

Renge, High Queen of the Otaku, finally reveals herself as she truly is as she fangasms all over Kyoya, declaring her love for him because he’s the spitting image of her “Uki-Doki Memorial Game” fiance, Ichijo Miyabi. All but Kyoya do back away in fear of the frightening power of the Super-Otaku’s delusions. True to form, Kyoya is a suave GQ mother fucker, and doesn’t even flinch at Renge’s level of Crazy. Instead, he gives us all the Hosts a nice little sum up of the situation: This chick wants to marry her dating Sim so badly that she’s convinced herself that he is that character. The sound that SHOULD follow is the sound of the aforementioned Restraining Order, but Kyoya is sneaky and obviously has PLANS. Otherwise…WTF.

Renge so wants Kyoya’s dick love that she forces her company on the Hosts by declaring herself manager of the Host club. The chagrin of the Trio of Stupid Tamaki, Hikaru and Kaoru is powerful enough to drain the Bishies of their Dazzle and temporarily kill their Freeze Frames. Tamaki makes a very weak attempt to use his Kingly powers over the club to get Kyoya’s stalker fan girl to GO AWAY, but Kyoya, like the Dark Lord Shadow King he is, throws down a swift Request: DENIED.

Defeated by the Power of He Who Rules from the Shadows, the Troublesome Trio act like dicks and SO TOTALLY dump Renge on Haruhi to deal with as they turn tail and flee the scene. Haruhi tries to pull an “Ah, HELL NO,” but Kyoya threatens MORE DEBT if she should fuck up, and thus our protagonist is left to deal with Renge.

Haruhi’s attempts to keep Renge out of the way busy convinces Tamaki that Renge is a GOOD THING. Mr. “Who’s-Your-Daddy” Complex wants Haruhi to learn to be more “girly” from Renge and has sniffed just enough glue to convince himself that his delusions are possible. Renge offers up to Kyoya the horribly burned cookies that Haruhi taught her to make, and has her Otaku delusion of Fluff about how much he must LOVE THEM. Haruhi the Glutton is Gluttonous and focuses on her own cookies long enough for Hikaru to sneak up for a little suggestive fan service, which Kaoru happily joins in on.

Thus Tamaki is reduced to snarl-language which only a cryptographer of all that is Ed Hardy could possibly decipher. His Kermit-flailing and Haruhi’s Whatevering leaves the Otaku to Plan for far longer than is healthy. Since she’s in Fanfiction/ “Doujinshi” mode, the Hosts are made to suffer “Out of Character” changes since she’s decided that their “characters” need re-vamping.

All but Tamaki are planning Otaku-murder, as he is just enough of a Queen Diva to really get into it. Our pitiful Hosts beg their Dark Overlord to end the madness, but he Has A Plan and is Not Telling, so forces them to go along with the craziness. The Hosts despair and blame He Who Is Blonde Tamaki for being such a Glittering Princess.

Either we have suddenly fallen into Renge’s daydreams, or Something is Rotten in the State of Denmark, Hamlet, as there is are way too many Mood Moments and a sappy monologue, to boot.  It Gets Worse, as we see that Twins are being sporty and Twincesty and angsty all at once. Their moment of “Dramatic sports injury is Dramatic” turns into a tear-fest, and The Sap is overwhelming.

Suddenly, we’re left to deal with “Gloomy Rain is Gloomy” and Tamaki Emo-ing in the downpour for the twins, Emo-Monologuing about how sad being beautiful is. All I can think is that Pod-People have obviously captured Tamaki, because this is NOT the Glittering Ego Princess that I know. For once his Freeze Frame doesn’t glitter, and this is making me scared, you guys.

In another sudden scene shift, we see Haruhi being bullied by a Fierce-Hani and Mori is actually talking in full sentences. The feelings of WRONG and WTF are running rampant, and I’m feeling sick of all the damned Mood Rain, seriously. We have obviously fallen into the land of the foulest form of Fan-fuckery: BAD, horribly out-of-character fanfiction. There is no denying it now.

Hope is restored to the world when Hani loses the mean face and morphs back in to the Loli-Shouta that we all know and want to cuddle. All the WRONG is explained by the Otaku and her hired Hollywood crew filming what boils down to a live-action Uki-Doki Memorial. To make up for all the Super-Angst and the Denial of the Fluff, the Manga-ka throws the yaoi fans a bone (heh) with a subtle uke/seme joke about the twins, with the younger twin Kaoru being the one to “drive the action.” At this point, I’ll take it, if it means that the angst is DONE.

Only not-quite-so-innocent Hani seems to get the joke, as he’s the only one to actually react with an “eww.” All is right with the world as a flamboyant Diva Tamaki preens for Haruhi in an attempt for ego stroking. The Prancing Princess has returned to form, glitter and all. Tamaki, in love with his own acting, threatens us all with a return to Emoing, but Haruhi puts a stop to it by telling him he’s fine just how he is.

Tamaki is silly enough to take it as a compliment, but Haruhi is a GOD smart and knows that an Emo Tamaki would be SO MUCH WORSE than the Glittering Diva he is now. We get one last bit of What-the-Fuckery thanks to, of course, Renge. The innocent bystanders and Haruhi all Kermit-flail and Despair over Renge’s moment of NOT COOL when she So Goes There, pulling two classmates from the bottom Class rank (Class D) in to her movie to be villains, just because their parents are Yakuza (members of the Japanese Mafia).

Haruhi attempts to reason with Renge’s Otaku-Beast, but the Super-Fan will not listen to reason. In a desperate attempt to Flee the Crazy, Mr. Wrongly Persecuted #1 ends up getting the Beat Down from Scary-Tamaki for “making Haruhi cry.” Of course, the Twins Don’t Help by being their bratty selves, and the misunderstood duo flees the scene in tears. Tamaki, ready to be Haruhi’s Knight in Glittering Armour, is halted when our heroine reveals that she was tearing up because her contact slipped. Tamaki’s face-fall is Epic and Beautiful, and shall be treasured forever.

Renge practically wets herself in glee over the whole scene, which she’s been filming. She nearly goes off into another Otaku-daydream until her Prince Charming smashes the camera lens like a badass. Renge’s Fairytale Romance falls apart as Kyoya turns his Demonic Overlord personality on the Otaku. There is much flailing and sobbing from Renge until Haruhi saves the day with a moving speech about not judging by appearances (The More You Know…).

Renge’s inner Otaku-Beast now conquered, all is well…that is, until Kyoya reveals that he SO TOTALLY STOLE the footage for the club to make their own movie. Thus, he creates an Army of loyal Otaku, and the Hosts’ do feel the chagrin and the despair. The chapter wraps up with Renge popping up one more time, long enough to attempt to whisk away Haruhi in the mistaken belief that Haruhi is in love with her and therefore needs to “get to know her.” Tamaki despairs, and he and the Otaku Queen have a “bitch-fight” over Haruhi, and Kyoya SO DOESN’T CARE as long as he’s left the fuck out of it.

______________________________________________________________

Glorious, Insane Fan-Girling, thy name is Renge.

Seriously. As much as I snark at the character, I love her to pieces. In fact, I love her so much, that the majority of this review is going to be about WHY I love her so much and WHY she works so well. So, be prepared for this (not-so-) Hostile Otaku Takeover.

Why Renge Rocks Works

Renge is completely unafraid to openly and enthusiastically embrace her geekdom. Although she is brash, and loud, and very naïve in her approach to people, I cannot fault her for loving something SO MUCH that she feels the need to share it with the world in the only way that she knows how. In this instance, her approach hurts her because she doesn’t really understand what you do and don’t do when meeting people.

I am not excusing her trying to box Kyoya or the Hosts into their “characters.” I do make allowances though, as it is not maliciously done and she is just sheltered enough to not realize that this is unfair to Kyoya, or the Hosts, or herself. In the end, her sheer enthusiasm and love for her chosen geekdom is beneficial to the Host club, as they make a tidy profit off the Hollywood Directed/Produced “fan film” that she paid for out of pocket.

Although her intentions were good, Renge did hurdle-jump over the border between “Renge’s Fandom Happy Time Hour” and straight into “Crazy-Town Otaku Central.” As a High Schooler, she is definitely old enough to know better. Her father, having indulged her, is not free of blame in this, either. At the end of the day, after all the insanity and drama regarding the Host club, once Renge realized that what she’d done was NOT OKAY, she was not afraid to stop and apologize. This just goes to show that despite being a stereotype for a “Crazy Otaku OMG,” she is a sweet girl with good intentions.

In matters of the heart, this is a young woman who knows how to love. It is not untrue to say that she loves with unrestrained enthusiasm. Though this “love” may be questionable to others because of the situation it was born from, it is very much real to her. Again, I am not going to necessarily fault her for being so sheltered from reality that she does not realize that looking like a beloved dating Sim is not a good basis for a healthy relationship. If I were to fault anyone, again it would be her father who laughs off her behavior, instead of sitting down and talking to her seriously about how life Does Not Work That Way. That, however, is a different topic altogether. What is important is that this is a woman who, once she’s matured both mentally and emotionally, has the potential to be a very devoted, extremely loving partner for anyone who is lucky enough to catch her heart. Otaku or not, that kind of ability to love is a beautiful and sadly not-too-common thing.

In this reverse-harem manga that is both loving tribute and parody, Renge too plays more than one part. On the one hand, she is a fully-formed albeit developing character. She has her own likes/dislikes, her own personality, her own background, etc. On the other hand, she is the poking-the-fangirls-with-kittens parody of the idea of Otaku, in general. She is manic, she is loud, she is massively involved in her chosen fandom, and she is obsessed to the point of trying to box actual people into characters/character types from her fandom. Just like this is a manga that works both as an actual story and a parody, she too works both as an actual character and a “Super Fan-girl Proxy.” Whatever Hatori Bisco’s intrentions when creating Renge, this character proved to be interesting, as well as bold enough to lightly nudge the readers as she poked the fourth wall.

What I Missed

When I first read this chapter, I was so focused on the sheer insanity of this chapter, that I didn’t quite realize just how much is really going on. There’s the new character intro, there’s the Hosts being their Bishie cosplaying selves, there is the glimpse of the twins’ backstory, there is a reference to Haruhi’s backstory, there is Renge’s introduction and the club upheaval she causes, and it so on. The fact that the chapter has so much going on, but does not feel too busy is a credit to how much this storyline sucked me in.

The first time around, I was so focused on the Thank God, All Is Well of the “it’s a movie, not the Twilight Zone” reveal that I failed to notice a few details about the whole thing. The fact that Renge flew an entire Hollywood film crew and a famous director out to film her “fan film” just boggles my mind. Of course, since that kind of money is NOT pocket change to me, I think this is an understandable reaction. Also, Hatori had a nice little moment of “manga cross-over” with her reference to the director having filmed “Millenial Snow,” which is in fact one of Hatori Bisco’s earlier manga series.

The fact that Hani’s reaction to Hikaru and Kaoru’s yaoi joke(?) was a kewpie “Really? Ewww” speaks for itself. I definitely forgot about that reaction, but it doesn’t surprise me. Loli-Shouta or not, Hani is an eighteen-year-old senior in High School. Enough said about that, really.

Hatori Bisco is brilliant in her approach to chapters, which is very easy to miss if you don’t pay attention (as I did not). Instead of having a set length for each installment, each episode varies from chapter to chapter. Some are very detailed but relatively short, some are more filler and fluff, and unusually long. Overall, this chapter felt SHORTER for me, because of how involved I was in the story, but is actually one of the longest, so far. Considering that there is only a side-story and some not-included-in-the-Manga content left of this volume, I think this was a good (full length) storyline to help bring Volume One to a close.

Next time, I will wrap up Volume One and throw the readers a bone with some 4-1-1 on these beloved characters. See you then~!