[The Ohtori Archives] Hani Knows Kung-Fu, er…Karate

Episode 7…in which Kyoya plays God and Hani opens a can of Whup-Ass

We open this delightful episode of insanity on a genuine Tropical Vista and a very, very confused Haruhi. Though elaborate cosplay is nothing new to our reluctant heroine, Japan does not actually exist within a Tropical Zone, so her confusion mas merit. Continue reading

[The Ohtori Archives] Tricksy Twinses

Episode 5…in which the twins are devious menaces and should never be let out in public, ever. Especially when they’re bored.

Since this chapter is about the twins and they are a brand of Crazy that cannot be contained by reverse-harem Manga formula, we skip the usual opening Bishie Freeze frame and jump right into Kermit-Flailing Tamaki fussing at the twins. I would say that I’m surprised, except that I’d be lying. I’d by lying a lot. Continue reading

[The Ohtori Archives] General Host-pital

Episode 4…in which there is a lot of random fuckery and the briefly featured side character is a quack doctor named…quack doctor.

Spring. Love is in the air, we’re all choking on cherry blossom petals, and the senior Hosts should be graduating…except not. Barbie Girl Tamaki and Hatori Bisco make it abundantly clear in this moment of fourth-wall HULK-Smash that there will be no escaping graduating for Hani and Mori. Continue reading

[The Ohtori Archives] Shake Your Bun-Bun

Welcome to our first Super-Special Extra Episode of the series~…in which the Hani is secretly evil and Mori pulls off the silliest “Hand Wave,” ever.

In the glittering pink palace called Ouran, a Doom Cloud of Epic proportions hovers over our Hosts. In their attempt to man-handle fondle play dress up with Haruhi, the Trio of Stupid Trouble have accidentally spilled tea all over the Holy Relic Hani Sempai’s stuffed rabbit, Usa-chan (a.k.a. “Bun-Bun”). Continue reading

[The Ohtori Archives] Renge is the Hosts’ Paparazzi

Episode Three: …in which a Host’s BIGGEST FAN makes her appearance, and it is GLORIOUS.

Before I get started, I’d like to give a heads up and say: Proceed Cautiously. This episode’s pre-chapter mini manga consists of four of our six main characters trying to jump ship, a delusional fangirl, and Tamaki flailing in distress. Consider yourself duly warned. Thar be Otaku, ahead~! Continue reading

[The Ohtori Archives] Congratulations, it’s a…Host!

Episode One…in which our heroine is the star of Victor-Victoria…Irashaimase~!

Scruffy scholarship student, Harry Potter Haruhi Fujioka, grumbling about the noisy rich kids who need to STFU SRSLY or maintain SILENCE IN THE LIBRARY, Doctor, accidentally discovers the secret lair meeting place of Ouran Academy’s Host club. Though initially taken aback by “the Pretty” of a reverse-harem Stylized Freeze Frame, surprise overcomes her hormones when they mistake her for a young gay man. The club members’ casual condescension of the resident “commoner,” as well as a flamboyant, glittering boy-Diva not of the Cullen-pire persuasion, make her eager to make her escape. In her haste to get away from a clingy Loli-Shouta, Mitsukuni Haninozuka, a.k.a. “Hani Sempai,” she knocks over a vase worth $80,000 (8 million yen, roughly) that the club was planning to use to con money out of the rich fan girls put up for auction. In order for her to pay back her massive debt, the club forces elects her to act as the club’s dogsbody until she graduates, or leaves Japan forever…whichever.
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