It’s been a while since the book’s last visit to the Wall. I believe we last left Jon on a high note — he’d just arranged a suitable placement for Sam, probably saving his life in the process — don’t worry, it won’t last long. If this book was plotted as a chart, it would be in the shape of lightning: a series of false peaks in a downward trajectory.
Do you know how competitive reality audiences can predict, with some accuracy, who’s going to be eliminated at the end of the episode? They know because the episode footage and contestant “confessionals” tend to get edited to focus on that person. It’s a Ned chapter again. I’m just saying.
The Dothraki have their own interpretation of “dinner and a show” and it’s something. Drogo cuts a heart out of a stallion and serves it to Dany, who has to consume it for the benefit of the dosh khaleen, the Merry Widows of Vaes Dothrak. I’m not at all squeamish about the fact that it’s a heart, but it’s raw and she’s pregnant! Surely that’s bad for reasons of salmonella or, I don’t know, it just seems axiomatic that pregnant ladies should not be consuming large quantities of fresh blood. Then again, I fully plan to eat sushi if I feel like it if I’m ever pregnant, so maybe I’m just a big old hypocrite.
“Dogs are animals – and all animals are afraid of fire, right? Right! Okay, I’ve soaked him with the best burning fuel there is – gasoline! Now to ‘Flick my Bic’!”
Dawn blooms the day after the adventures of the last two issues. Steve’s van arrives at his Auto Repair shop and he and Brandy quickly sneak Rom into the garage. The humans, exhausted by events, quickly eat a few burgers while Rom recharges his circuits through a light socket, then shuts down into Rest Mode so as to repair. Steve walks Brandy to her job, and both briefly encounter Artie Packer, a local officer who spins a wild story about what the cops saw on the road the night before.
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Welcome to our first Super-Special Extra Episode of the series~…in which the Hani is secretly evil and Mori pulls off the silliest “Hand Wave,” ever.
In the glittering pink palace called Ouran, a Doom Cloud of Epic proportions hovers over our Hosts. In their attempt to man-handle fondle play dress up with Haruhi, the Trio of Stupid Trouble have accidentally spilled tea all over the Holy Relic Hani Sempai’s stuffed rabbit, Usa-chan (a.k.a. “Bun-Bun”). Continue reading
Ned’s chapters are coming so often that he’s starting to remind me of Old Spice Man. “Now back to me!” Unlike Old Spice Man, however, Ned does not have the abs with which to entice me. He doesn’t have diamonds either, and he’s one of the few Starks who are not, have not been, and are not planning to be on a boat.
“I am no sorcerer, Dweller! But the elders of my world saw fit to arm me with Galador’s greatest weapon – the Neutralizer! A weapon which can shatter! And which can sear with seething flames! Thus, I answer fire with fire!”
It’s still night on that road just outside of Clairton, West Virginia. Brand, Steve, and Rom huddle in the woods while police comb through the wreckage from last issue’s battle. Rom isn’t sure if these people are human or Dire Wraith, but he can’t risk using his Neutralizer without giving away his position and endangering Brandy and Steve. As he looks to Brandy wrapped in Steve’s arms, Rom thinks back to the day he volunteered to become a Spaceknight, when his girlfriend Ray-Na confronted him over the choice to give up his humanity and their love.
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Ned is internally whining about how uncomfortable the Iron Throne is. That’s not a metaphor about the burdens of kingship, the throne is literally the least comfortable seat imaginable. On the other hand, at least it’s a seat, the people flooding the hall to seek the king’s justice have to stay standing, except for Varys and Littlefinger (and Pycelle, who doesn’t count). I think the entire scene is a metaphor for this book: the little guys are screwed, the kings are screwed in a more showy fashion, only the slimy bastards are doing well for themselves.
Episode Three: …in which a Host’s BIGGEST FAN makes her appearance, and it is GLORIOUS.
Before I get started, I’d like to give a heads up and say: Proceed Cautiously. This episode’s pre-chapter mini manga consists of four of our six main characters trying to jump ship, a delusional fangirl, and Tamaki flailing in distress. Consider yourself duly warned. Thar be Otaku, ahead~! Continue reading
Episode Two…in which a guest Looks for Love in all the Wrong Places, and the Host club does the Time Warp, Agai~n!
Magic, or fairy dust, is in the air as we’ve Time hurdle-jumped from probably-Spring and right into the dead of Winter, all in the space of one chapter. Continue reading