Sansa’s in a weird in-between state where she understands that she’s a hostage and that things are bad for her and her family, but still clings to the delusion that Cersei and Joff give a damn about her. I myself am also in an in-between state where I don’t dislike her as a character anymore, but don’t look forward to her chapters because they’re basically misery with very little forward movement in the plot.
I’ve missed Tyrion. That’s nothing new, I always miss Tyrion. Not even specifically in this book, just generally, in life. Somehow, his chapters are always so much less horrifying than everybody else’s. Either fewer bad things happen to him or I just have selective memory when it comes to my favourite.
This chapter’s drinking game: drink any time someone mentions goats or penes; two drinks for the threat of feeding someone’s penis to a goat; finish your drink if a goat actually eats something; find all the alcohol in your home, mix it together, and chug it if a goat actually eats a penis.
Catelyn and her uncle have taken the sea route to Robb, travelling to the White Harbor — the North’s primary port — and then on to where Robb’s gathering his forces with the sons of White Harbor’s lord, Manderly, as escorts. It’s nice that at least one of the Stark kids gets to be reunited with a parent, but think about it: out the six kids, only one gets to see a parent again, and it’s the oldest to boot. The babies will have to fend for themselves!
It’s Dany’s first chapter AV — After Viserys. Life is somehow a little brighter AV, like that scene post-sex from 500 Days of Summer. Sex happens a lot in A Game of Thrones, so that’s nothing special, but even here it’s not every chapter a slimy bastard bites it.
Bran is watching men arrive in Winterfell for the army Robb’s gathering. The latest (and last) arrivals are the Karstarks — a thousand-year-old offshoot of House Stark, they are descendents of Karlon Stark. Bran doesn’t think the look like Starks, but he looks like a Tully, so I don’t think he should talk. In a society where genetics and heredity are so closely tied to appearance, Catelyn sure didn’t do a good job of giving birth to Stark-looking children, did she, only one out of five. I suspect if Robb looked like Ned instead of her, she wouldn’t hate Jon quite so much. (I was looking through my previous entries to check if I already shared this theory when I realized that I use the word “hate” a lot when writing these.)
Episode 4…in which there is a lot of random fuckery and the briefly featured side character is a quack doctor named…quack doctor.
Spring. Love is in the air, we’re all choking on cherry blossom petals, and the senior Hosts should be graduating…except not. Barbie Girl Tamaki and Hatori Bisco make it abundantly clear in this moment of fourth-wall HULK-Smash that there will be no escaping graduating for Hani and Mori. Continue reading
Having climbed our way out of the pit of teenaged girl suckitude that is vintage A Game of Thrones Sansa sprinkled with a good dose of Cersei’s vileness, we’re transported to the testosterone-steeped Utopia that is Castle Black. Whereas last chapter left off with a human hand in FYC’s mouth, this one begins with the stump of the arm to which the hand belonged. I am not even slightly joking when I say that a chapter full of rotting corpses is very much preferable to the last one.
After chapters of chasing cats and balancing precariously at the top of stairwells, Arya is finally getting to practice some swordplay. Syrio is calling out his blows (high, low, left, right) and she’s parrying accordingly, but then he calls left when actually swinging right and Arya starts that eternal refrain of the adolescent soul: it’s not fair! Syrio tells her that she should’ve paid attention to the cues from his body language instead of just relying on him to tell the truth. Get it? It’s thematically appropriate, because it’s the mistake Ned made. Oh those silly Starks and their touching attachment to truth and honour.
Ned! Back again so soon? Yes, yes he is. On one hand, King’s Landing is where all the action is reaching its climax, so it makes sense that we’d spend so much time there. On the other, when you have a book with multiple POV characters, it feels really unbalanced to be favouring one character so heavily. I’m not complaining, exactly, I’m just saying it’s really noticeable and also I miss Tyrion. Luckily, I have an active imagination and I’m still having fun pretending that Ghost!Tyrion is commenting on the action.
“No time to rest… or to mourn the dead. I guess every war has to have its casualties… doesn’t it?”
Along with the rest of the police force, officer Artie Packer has been barred from discussing what they witnessed on that desert road the night before. But, darn it, he just needs to tell somebody, so he swings by Steve Jackson’s auto shop. No sooner is he wondering why there’s a huge hole in the wall does he discover the lifeless body of Rom draped over a hydraulic car lift, Steve doing his best to seal the Spaceknight’s wounded armor with a torch.