[Red Pen Reads] A Game of Thrones – Catelyn and Arya

If I have to do another Catelyn, you have to promise me the next one will be Tyrion. (I checked, it’s not. Neither is the one after that. This is why I didn’t read the book in order in the first place!)

Catelyn has the hottest room in the castle, and that’s not a euphemism for sex, it’s just a statement to her innate southern wussiness when it comes to weather. Sex has been happening, though; it winds down in unromantic terms as the chapter opens. Catelyn hopes Ned’s “seed” inside her doesn’t go to waste and gets put to baby-making use. I gag because it’s gone from unromantic to slightly gross. Mercifully, the conversation is moving on to politics. Continue reading

[Red Pen Reads] A Game of Thrones – Jon

Fourteen-year-old Jon Snow is drinking wine, as one does when one lives in a mediaeval fantasy world. Lest I mislead anyone into thinking that Jon is in need of an intervention and a twelve-step program, it should be said that this is happening during a feast. Jon is secretly gloating over the fact that his brothers and sisters — sitting with the adults at the hosts and royalty table — would only be allowed one glass, whereas he, being seated on the benches in the crowd, can keep on drinking while the young squires surrounding him do the mediaeval fantasy version of the “chug chug” chant. Ok, so maybe a small intervention.

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[Red Pen Reads] A Game of Thrones – Eddard

You know, I had completely forgotten that Ned Stark is a point-of-view character. It’s details like this that justify my choosing to start the series from scratch rather than jump in where I left off. On the other hand, this means there’s yet another segment standing between me and the delightfully twisted mind of Tyrion Lannister. The Lannister Crazy will be my reward for making it through the Stark Emo.
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[Red Pen Reads] A Game of Thrones – Daenerys

Daenerys was my favourite point-of-view when I was reading this series for the first time. I’m looking forward to this!

The chapter opens with Viserys being creepy, which is Viserys’s default setting. Brothers should never say the word “caress” to their sisters, in any context. Eurgh. Talking about the fabric bringing out the colour in Dany’s (Daenerys is a pretty name, but I’m lazy) eyes is not helping! There are a lot of sexual undertones to the way Viserys treats Dany, but we are talking about Targaryens, a House whose words might as well have been “Incest: a game the whole family can play.” Here’s a creepy question no one wanted to contemplate: if the rebellion had never happened, would Dany and Viserys be forced to marry even though Viserys was not the heir to the throne? Now, Targaryens do not have a monopoly on incest in A Song of Ice and Fire, but in their case, it’s institutional incest. There must have been some sort of laws and traditions governing it, right?

No, brain bleach will not be provided with these recaps.
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[Red Pen Reads] A Game of Thrones – Bran and Catelyn

“The morning had dawned clear and cold, with a crispness that hinted at the end of summer.” Summer that lasts for years and years. With winter almost here and temperatures dropping, I can see the appeal of that. I imagine a nine-year summer in Winterfell must be really nice. Nine years of summer in King’s Landing, or worse yet: Dorne, on the other hand, must suck balls. Sweaty, humid balls.
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[Red Pen Reads] A Game of Thrones – Prologue

The story opens with a prologue and if this is your first time opening the book, you might foolishly believe that the prologue would be logically followed by a “chapter 1”. We’ll return to that assumption when we make it that far. If we make it that far and in George R.R. Martin’s books, that’s a big if! (George R.R. Martin shall henceforth be known as GRRM, pronounced “grim,” roll the R.)
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[Red Pen Reads] The whys, wherefores and WTFs of this project

When Game of Thrones the HBO show hit the screens, it revitalized my interest in the series. I first discovered it some time after the release of book 2, but by the time book 4 rolled around, it slipped from my consciousness and so books 4 and 5 remained unread.

The show reminded me that I really did enjoy the story, only rather than pick up where I left off, the material to fill any gaps in my memory only a Google-search away, I decided to reread it properly from the beginning. Why blog about it? I like recap blogs myself, for books and TV shows, so this is my chance to actually contribute something instead of being the perpetual consumer.

Since this is a reread blog, I already know what’s coming for the characters, but I’m going to try and avoid outright spoilers. I won’t necessarily do just one narrative segment per post, because some of them are really short.

It’s been 10 years since I last read A Game of Thrones. Let’s see how it holds up!