Episode 4…in which there is a lot of random fuckery and the briefly featured side character is a quack doctor named…quack doctor.
Spring. Love is in the air, we’re all choking on cherry blossom petals, and the senior Hosts should be graduating…except not. Barbie Girl Tamaki and Hatori Bisco make it abundantly clear in this moment of fourth-wall HULK-Smash that there will be no escaping graduating for Hani and Mori. Continue reading
Having climbed our way out of the pit of teenaged girl suckitude that is vintage A Game of Thrones Sansa sprinkled with a good dose of Cersei’s vileness, we’re transported to the testosterone-steeped Utopia that is Castle Black. Whereas last chapter left off with a human hand in FYC’s mouth, this one begins with the stump of the arm to which the hand belonged. I am not even slightly joking when I say that a chapter full of rotting corpses is very much preferable to the last one.
After chapters of chasing cats and balancing precariously at the top of stairwells, Arya is finally getting to practice some swordplay. Syrio is calling out his blows (high, low, left, right) and she’s parrying accordingly, but then he calls left when actually swinging right and Arya starts that eternal refrain of the adolescent soul: it’s not fair! Syrio tells her that she should’ve paid attention to the cues from his body language instead of just relying on him to tell the truth. Get it? It’s thematically appropriate, because it’s the mistake Ned made. Oh those silly Starks and their touching attachment to truth and honour.
Ned! Back again so soon? Yes, yes he is. On one hand, King’s Landing is where all the action is reaching its climax, so it makes sense that we’d spend so much time there. On the other, when you have a book with multiple POV characters, it feels really unbalanced to be favouring one character so heavily. I’m not complaining, exactly, I’m just saying it’s really noticeable and also I miss Tyrion. Luckily, I have an active imagination and I’m still having fun pretending that Ghost!Tyrion is commenting on the action.
“No time to rest… or to mourn the dead. I guess every war has to have its casualties… doesn’t it?”
Along with the rest of the police force, officer Artie Packer has been barred from discussing what they witnessed on that desert road the night before. But, darn it, he just needs to tell somebody, so he swings by Steve Jackson’s auto shop. No sooner is he wondering why there’s a huge hole in the wall does he discover the lifeless body of Rom draped over a hydraulic car lift, Steve doing his best to seal the Spaceknight’s wounded armor with a torch.
It’s been a while since the book’s last visit to the Wall. I believe we last left Jon on a high note — he’d just arranged a suitable placement for Sam, probably saving his life in the process — don’t worry, it won’t last long. If this book was plotted as a chart, it would be in the shape of lightning: a series of false peaks in a downward trajectory.
Do you know how competitive reality audiences can predict, with some accuracy, who’s going to be eliminated at the end of the episode? They know because the episode footage and contestant “confessionals” tend to get edited to focus on that person. It’s a Ned chapter again. I’m just saying.
The Dothraki have their own interpretation of “dinner and a show” and it’s something. Drogo cuts a heart out of a stallion and serves it to Dany, who has to consume it for the benefit of the dosh khaleen, the Merry Widows of Vaes Dothrak. I’m not at all squeamish about the fact that it’s a heart, but it’s raw and she’s pregnant! Surely that’s bad for reasons of salmonella or, I don’t know, it just seems axiomatic that pregnant ladies should not be consuming large quantities of fresh blood. Then again, I fully plan to eat sushi if I feel like it if I’m ever pregnant, so maybe I’m just a big old hypocrite.
“Dogs are animals – and all animals are afraid of fire, right? Right! Okay, I’ve soaked him with the best burning fuel there is – gasoline! Now to ‘Flick my Bic’!”
Dawn blooms the day after the adventures of the last two issues. Steve’s van arrives at his Auto Repair shop and he and Brandy quickly sneak Rom into the garage. The humans, exhausted by events, quickly eat a few burgers while Rom recharges his circuits through a light socket, then shuts down into Rest Mode so as to repair. Steve walks Brandy to her job, and both briefly encounter Artie Packer, a local officer who spins a wild story about what the cops saw on the road the night before.
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Welcome to our first Super-Special Extra Episode of the series~…in which the Hani is secretly evil and Mori pulls off the silliest “Hand Wave,” ever.
In the glittering pink palace called Ouran, a Doom Cloud of Epic proportions hovers over our Hosts. In their attempt to man-handle fondle play dress up with Haruhi, the Trio of Stupid Trouble have accidentally spilled tea all over the Holy Relic Hani Sempai’s stuffed rabbit, Usa-chan (a.k.a. “Bun-Bun”). Continue reading